My son announced on our walk home from school on Friday that he had a lot of work to do for Mother’s Day. “You and Mami are going to need to stay in bed for a very long time, because I have a lot of things to get ready. Because I have two moms I have a lot more to do. Most kids in my class only have one, except for Sally, she has two moms too.”
I couldn’t wait to see what he had in store.
Our son has known since before he could talk that he was adopted and that he has two moms. He understands that adoption is a beautiful thing and many people are adopted including several of his friends. He also points out that Clifford the Big Red Dog was adopted by Emily Elizabeth and the Man in the Yellow Hat adopted Curious George.
Equally he understands that families are comprised of different combinations; one dad no mom, one mom no dad, two dads, two moms, or one mom one dad.
My wife and I made a conscious decision to begin sharing his adoption story with him at a very early age. Truth be told, we began practicing the conversation when he was only a few weeks old. Not that he was able to comprehend at that age what we were talking about, but we as parents needed practice telling him his adoption story, in an age appropriate way, in a way that was meaningful and wouldn’t leave any of us speechless or taken off guard.
Since that time the understanding of his adoption story has evolved. We first started reading him Todd Parr’s – We Belong Together and The Family Book. As time went on our conversations developed fully. He understands clearly that someone else brought him into this world and we were there to catch him.
Just when we believed we understood our six-year-old sons thought process he threw us a gentle curve on ball on Mothers Day morning.
Him having two moms, I made a HUGE assumption that both my wife and I would be celebrated equally.
Not so.
As the Saturday evening’s preparation began, I noticed some subtle messaging from my son. My name was not on the Mother’s Day card and I was being asked to inventory the supply list for the building of the Mother’s Day piñata on Sunday morning.
I was quick to discover the entire Mother’s Day celebration was all about my wife when I was summoned out of bed the next morning to help the Master of Ceremony with his projects.
My mind went quickly to “What, how could you forget me?” “I’m the one you call for in the middle of the night when you have a bad dream. “ “You ask me to put the Band-Aids on your scrapes.” “I put your baby book together!”
Well luckily I kept the words to myself. However, maybe it was the look in my eyes, or the expression on my face that prompted my son to say “Don’t worry Mutti, I’m going to celebrate you on Father’s Day.”
It was clear to me at that moment, he understands he has two parents that he loves equally and this is his way of allowing us to have a very special day all to ourselves.
Based on how awesome his Mothers Day piñata was, I now can’t wait for fathers Day to roll around.
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